You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
