did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize