I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
