Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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