break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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