i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Vodka?
Forever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
