sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
