can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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