are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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