paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize