Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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