She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
