she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
