I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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