Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
