I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
