There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
