We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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