it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
