Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
