I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
