I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize