He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
