i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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