hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize