My friends, they love my intelligence
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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