Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
