remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
