god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize