I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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