Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
