dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
