I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
