Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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