Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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