I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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