If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
