What did we do last night that was yellow?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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