Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize