Actions speak louder than pants.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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