Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
