At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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