You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
