we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
