Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
