my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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