haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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