i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
