Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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