I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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