Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
