Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
