and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
