it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.