My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.