so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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