I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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