it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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