Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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