bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize