Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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