4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
