Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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