marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
