I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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