If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
