Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
