KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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